I took a walk today and I had both an Ipod and sunglasses on. As I started my walk, I almost felt like I was in my own bubble. A song that I liked was on and my sunglasses shielded me from anything except for my walking path. I almost felt like I was in control and owned the area, like I was an important person and nothing/no one else mattered.
When a song came on that I didn't really care for, my first immediate response was to shut it off. Instead though, I walked through it. I noticed that I started walking faster and kept thinking about when the song would end rather than let my own mind wander. Some songs that came on that had some sort of sentimental memory with it completely took my brain away from where I was walking, and back to that memory. My mind got lost in it and when I turned around, I noticed how much walking space I had covered even though it didnt seem like I had walked for very long.
When I took my glasses and Ipod off, I immediately got bored. I forced myself to engage into my surroundings. I think my unconscious paranoia came out. Suddenly I felt like everyone I walked past was staring at me, which is a very common thing for me. I started feeling anxious and walking faster, to make myself a blur to others and to reach home faster. The walk wasn't as desirable without music, which kind of made me upset when I really thought about it. The fact that I needed something to keep me entertained even though a walk outside somewhere new should be entertaining enough.
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